Relaxing, yet Awkward Bathing Experience in a Mixed-Gender Onsen in Japan

When I was a kid, I watched a lot of anime and it’s one of the reasons why I became fascinated with the Land of the Rising Sun. Therefore, once I moved to Japan, I wanted to try out some of the things I had seen in anime--- bathing in an onsen (hot spring bath) is one of them.

Mixed-gender Onsen in Lamp no Yado Aomori Onsen

First onsen experience

It was a bit of a blur.

I just remembered that my friends and I went to Zao during winter. It was my first year in Japan, thus I mostly follow the lead of my friends--- who had been living in Japan longer than me. So, when they suggested going to a public onsen, I excitedly agreed.

At that time, I thought, “I’m finally gonna experience it for real and not just second hand.”

However, at the same time, I was nervous because I’m a shy person and the thought of being naked in front of other people terrifies me. That’s why in my head I tried to calm myself down and told myself to just ignore the other people.

Once I entered the female changing room, I was shocked.

There were a lot of people getting dressed or getting naked, drying themselves, and talking. It was very busy and noisy. It’s not really what I pictured in my head. I had imagined it as a quiet place where you can bathe and relax, like the scenes I had watched in anime. However, it turned out to be the opposite. I just told myself, “…well, this is reality and THAT is fiction.”

Although the first impression wasn’t what I expected, I still enjoyed bathing in the onsen. It was quite charming because there was snow falling while I soaked my body in the hot, milky waters of Zao.

Onsen with my husband

My husband loves onsen, so whenever we travel, we usually stay in a ryokan (Japanese traditional inn) with a hot spring bath.

Most of the hotels or ryokan that we’ve stayed in before have had gender-separated hot spring baths, hence, my husband and I go to our designated baths.

I don’t mind getting separated from my other half for a couple of minutes, however, staying in an onsen on my own or with a bunch of noisy strangers bores or annoys me. That’s why I don’t stay long and just go back to our room. This is also why we now rent a private onsen or stay in a room with its own hot spring bath as much as we can.

Whenever we go to a private onsen, my husband and I can totally relax.

My first mixed-gender onsen

A mixed-gender onsen (or KONYOKU in Japanese) is a type of hot spring bath where men and women can bathe together. Some people (especially foreigners) can find this a bit awkward because you aren’t only taking a bath (naked) with a stranger, but with the opposite sex.

Hence, I usually avoided konyoku. However, when I discovered Takaragawa Onsen in Gunma Prefecture, I wanted to try it out with my husband.

Takaragawa Onsen

The reason that this hot spring convinced me to experience mixed-gender onsen is because of its stunning views and that you can wear a bathing towel which covers your body when bathing. This made me more comfortable and made my first konyoku experience memorable.

You can buy this bathing towel (着るバスタオル) on Amazon, Rakuten, or at any shopping mall, but when you go to Takaragawa Onsen, they’ll provide this to you.

If you are thinking of putting on a bathing suit or other form of clothing other than the bathing towel, it’s not allowed. You need to remember, you must be naked in an onsen to keep the water clean. If it’s a konyoku, you need to look at the details as to whether or not you can wear a bathing towel.

Mixed-gender Onsen at the sea

When my husband and I went to Yakushima, Kagoshima, we wanted to try out Hirauchi Kaichu Onsen. It’s a hot spring bath where you can see Yakushima’s stunning ocean view.  However, you can only bathe during low tide.

Also, it’s a konyoku and it’s not in a hotel where you are provided with a bathing towel. You need to bring your own or be naked.

Since our trip to Yakushima was very spontaneous, I didn’t have time to buy a bathing towel. But I read that you could just wrap a bath towel around your body. So, I brought a towel with me, but I still hoped that we would be alone when we went to Hirauchi Kaichu Onsen.

Sadly, for me, even though we went there before 7 am, there were already a few people bathing. I was quite anxious because there were no changing rooms. There was a hole with stone walls where you can change, but there were already people in there . Thus, I needed to improvise and try my best not to cover myself with my towel.

Enjoying the view at Hirauchi Kaichu Onsen

When I finally managed, to get naked and put on my towel, my husband and I cleaned our bodies first with the water from the sea (no soap) and got in the onsen.

There were a lot of tiny sea creatures crawling on the stones, so if you are a bit squeamish, you might feel scared or uncomfortable here. But my husband and I enjoyed our time there, even though it was challenging to remove and put on our clothes.