How to prepare for elementary school graduation

My eldest child graduated from elementary school in March. All four of my children were born and are being raised in Japan. Thus, I have experience with preschool graduation. Plus, I used to work for the Ibaraki Board of Education, mainly in the high school division, but I also did some work with Junior High schools. So I had some insight into second level graduation too. But this was my very first experience with elementary school graduation.

Of course, having experienced other types of graduations in Japan, I wasn't a complete novice. But what I have learned over the years is that every school has its own way of doing things. Moreover, there are differences by level of education too. For example, kindergarten children aren't expected to stand for long periods of time, but older children may have to. However, they generally all follow a similar format. 

How to prepare for elementary school graduation

The great news is that most of the preparation falls on the children themselves. If you are unfortunate enough (as I am this year) to be on the Parent Teacher's Association in sixth grade, you will also have to do quite a few things in the lead up to graduation. However, for the 'average' parent there are only a few things to be mindful of.

The Clothes

Parents are expected to suit up for graduation. Or at the very least were something professional looking. However, I do know parents in Japan who just wear what they are comfortable in. There is no apparel police, so its not like anyone is going to arrest you for wearing the wrong thing. But if you don't like sticking out, its best to wear a suit or similar. If in doubt, ask your child's teacher for their advice. 

One thing to be careful about is that some schools have a clothes policy for the graduating children. Our school doesn't, but its not uncommon for a school to make rules about what the children can or can't wear. Some schools make it really easy by recommending all children wear their new Junior High School uniform to graduation. They are typically bought through the school in winter so the vast majority of children have their Junior High School uniform well before graduation.

Another example, there are a few schools that don't allow children wear haori hakama.  A Haori Hakama is a formal type of traditional Japanese clothing. The Haori refers to the light overcoat and the Hakama to the flowing pants. Like a kimono, a haori hakama takes sometime to put on.  Supposedly there have been incidents of children in haori hakama passing out during graduation, thus several schools have banned them.

The reason children in haori hakama are more likely to feel faint during graduation is because they get up much earlier than normal to don the traditional wear. Thus they eat breakfast much earlier than normal (and in some cases don't eat at all). Coupled with the tight fit of the haori hakama, plus long periods of standing in a stuffy hall and the general emotion of the day, apparently pre-Covid there were quite a few incidents of children passing out. Thankfully, one good thing to come out of Covid is much shorter graduation ceremonies than in the past. 

To rent or buy

If you do want to wear a kimono or a child a haori hakama you face the decision whether to rent or buy. Buying a brand new kimono or brand new haori hakama can cost anywhere from 30,000 yen to 300,000 yen! Renting a haori hakama is also unexpectedly expensive. The average rental cost for a haori hakama is 20,000 yen.

Thus, I decided to buy my son a second hand one, pictured below. I was very fortunate to find an excellent shop that sells high quality used haori hakama (and kimono etc) for reasonable prices. You can source second hand haori hakama online too. Just be careful; if its cheaper than 10,000 yen it may actually just be a cosplay haori hakama intended for social media photos and not a graduation ceremony. 

Book Appointments well in advance

If you as a parent plan to wear a kimono and / or a child is planning to wear a Haori Hakama, you may need to book for someone to dress you.You will need to do so well in advance. As graduation ceremonies for all levels of education tend to fall around the same time, it is a busy period for professional dressers. If you are going to try to put them on yourself, there are plenty of Youtube videos with guidance. But just make sure you give yourself plenty of time to do it right! We are very lucky that my Mother in Law is a professional kimono dresser, so she got my son into his haori hakama on the morning of graduation.

The same can be said for hair appointments. If you are planning to get your own or your child's hair cut or styled for the ceremony, you will need to book an appointment at least one month in advance. Several hairdressers offer the haori hakama dressing as part of a package. They open early especially for graduations. You will also need to take that into consideration. You may have to take a 5 am or 6 am appointment if you want to be ready in time for a 9 am graduation. 

A gift or letter for the teacher 

In a lot of schools the Parents Teacher Association takes care of a gift and / or letter for the teacher. Also, another teacher in the school may organize for the children to secretly write a letter to their own teacher. But a lot of parents also give the teacher a gift too. For my son's graduation, only one of his classmates had something prepared on the day. Or rather, only one child openly gave the teacher something in front of everyone else. I think most parents, myself included, give the teacher something privately on a different day. 

In our case, my son wrote a letter in school. But he, my husband and I also wrote letters privately too. I printed out photos of my son with his teacher on graduation day and made a little photo book of sorts with the letters. I brought them to his teacher, at the school, during spring break.

Each school is different, so if in doubt at all, do ask the teacher or an approachable parent about graduation at your school. The key is to do things well in advance so you won't get caught out. However, in saying that, we actually didn't buy my son's haori hakama until mid March! But that was because we lost the month of February to Covid! There will always be last minute options, but to avoid the stress, prepare in advance!